I do not like clowns; I really do not, and while I understand their slapstick style of comedy is meant to bring joy and laughter to children and adults, I find them downright creepy. On some level, I find it hard to believe that anyone is capable of being that happy all the time, possibly because of their unsettling Cheshire catlike grins or is it because of the high pitched cackle of a laugh they make that can send chills down your spine?

Ultimately, my fear probably stems from good old Pennywise the dancing clown, Stephen King’s character from his 1986 horror novel “It” in which this monster preys on young children by tapping into their deepest fears. I remember when I first got my hands on this novel, I was probably around 11 or 12 years old. I am not sure if that was an appropriate book for a pre-teen at that time but at least I was not out in the neighbourhood being mischievous.

I have always loved reading books and disappearing into the fascinating world each story will take me to but this book was taking me down a very dark alley. I started having nightmares and at some point, I had to put the book down for almost a week to give myself time to recover and gather the strength to finish it. As much as I wanted to give up on the book entirely, my curiosity kept me wanting more of it. I even woke my mum up a few times because of the nightmares. I eventually finished the book, picked up another and moved on with my life.

Now, there are two categories of people when it comes to books that have been adapted to films; one group prefers reading the book first then watching the movie adaptation and the other prefers watching the movie first then reading the book. I am not really picky about either category as long as the delivery is there. I can tell you the amount of anxiety I felt when I learned about the 2017 release of the film adaptation of the book was on another level. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end and the scene where Pennywise kills Georgie haunts me to this very day.

It is understandable then that when my husband and I were considering what fun activity we should do for his birthday and he suggested a theme park, I immediately on edge. I took it upon myself to research what theme parks we could find and the attractions available. I scoured the internet and came across Efteling, a fairy-tale themed Park located in Kaatsheuvel in the south of the Netherlands as well as the oldest and largest theme park in the country. 

No clowns were mentioned as part of the attractions, neither could I find any in the photos I found…I was sold. After having been cooped up in the house for months and only leaving for groceries, we were undeniably excited to embark on this adventure. On the day of our theme park visit, as I devoured some oatmeal and a cup of coffee, thoughts of Final Destination franchise movies came to mind and the bizarre accidents that usually occurred. I started feeling a bit anxious, especially about the roller coaster rides but kept it to myself.

It took us a bus to centraal station, a train to ‘S-Hertogenbosch centraal station and another bus to get to the theme park but the efficiency of the transport system made the 2 hour journey to the theme park and back pleasant and hassle free. Once inside, we looked through the map and picked out the first couple of activities we wanted to try out, we were off.

First up was the “Diorama” miniature world. This miniature world featured 3D models of villages surrounded with mountains, rivers, steam trains that come to life and tiny people going about their daily activities. What impressed me the most was the elaborate detail with which these models had been designed. It was truly magical and enthralling to watch everything in motion. I wondered how well I would do at such a task because I can only imagine the time, patience and effort that went into designing it and intricate aspects of each piece.

For a quick tour of the theme park, we decided to take a steam train ride at station Marerijk. It was a pleasant experience that took us all around the park with a soft breeze blowing. I could not help but appreciate the progress we have made with modes of transportation, from walking long distances, horse drawn carriages, steam trains to the more modern bullet trains, among others. At some point we started feeling a bit peckish, so we got off the train and decided to indulge in a hot-dog. It was described as a genuine Dutch hot-dog and all I can say is I could have eaten two of these in one sitting, but I was not trying to be gluttonous. The pickles at the bottom of the bun really brought it all together.

I am not sure what made us think that a roller coaster ride in the dark was a brilliant idea, but there we were queuing to get on Vogel Rok, the name of the first roller coaster ride. As we made our way to the ride, I kept thinking to myself, “this is not a good idea. I should go back”. Unfortunately, the way they had set it up, once you were on the queue, the only way to get off was to go through the ride, so I was trapped.

In as much as I had an idea of what was coming, I was not prepared for the rush when the roller coaster took the first plunge and I saw my life flash before my eyes, or maybe it’s the fairy lights in the tunnel that were playing tricks on me. My husband who had teased me saying I would probably throw up, had to take painkillers when we got off. I was slightly dizzy for few seconds but being the trooper that I am, I shook it off and was ready for the next ride, Python, a steel roller coaster with loops.

We have all watched national geographic and know nothing good can come from playing with a python but here I was about to get on a roller coaster with the same name. The most unnerving thing about this ride was that it was in the open and the slow clicking noise as the ride made its way to the peak before taking the plunge. Interestingly, throughout both rides, I kept having flashes of the Final Destination movies running through my mind. I thanked my lucky stars, I had chosen to wear my contact lenses and wrap my hair in a turban because had I worn my wig, I would have probably lost it in the first 30 seconds in the first ride.

There were plenty of family friendly rides, like the carousels as well as a children’s playground. There were even spots for parents to park their babies’ strollers, allowing them to enjoy the rides. Foldable wagons came in handy for those with toddlers and tended to get cranky and throw tantrums when you least expect it. There is one I saw who was walking with his dad then suddenly decided he had had it with walking and sat down, on the path. His dad tried to get him to move but the kid did not budge, and his dad ended up scooping him up in his arms.

Tiny humans are adorable but lugging them around a theme park is an extreme sport. If you happen to visit Efteling with your young ones, I suggest investing in a foldable wagon and loading it up with essentials your child may need to make moving around easier. Otherwise you will need to prepare yourself for a proper arm work out and there is a good chance you will not enjoy yourself. I also loved that the theme park is disability friendly, with wheelchairs that can be rented or reserved free of charge as well as providing wheelchair access for most of the rides to ensure it as enjoyable an experience as possible for everyone who visits.

We were equally impressed with the numerous measures in place to ensure the safety of both visitors and employees. These featured regular announcements urging visitors to maintain the 1.5 distancing, washing of hands, sanitizer stations all over the theme park, PVC partitioning in the queues, spacing on the rides. While the adults, at least those I came across were respectful of the rules, I was aware of the tiny humans and their burst of energy which has them constantly running around touching, coughing, and licking everything. So, I was cautious not to touch any handrails and was even ready to fall if necessary than risk breaking my fall by holding onto a handrail.

After five hours, covering close to eighteen kilometres on foot and clocking twenty-two thousand plus steps, we were beat. We finished the day off with some fries and an ice cream cone before we made our way back home. I cannot wait to visit again and experience the remaining attractions, not to mention the amazing street food style snacks, treats, and restaurants serving various cuisines.

Magical, fun, and memorable are some of the few words I can use to describe the theme park and all I can say is it’s worth every second!